The Newborn Stage – enjoy it while it lasts!

I often hear people telling new parents that the ‘newborn stage’ is the hardest but I don’t agree. Newborns are the best. They’re essentially little slugs. They don’t move, they just sit there doing nothing except sh!tting in their pants. Toddlers on the other hand are the devil. You’ve to run after them everywhere. They’ve no morals and they sh!t on your floor.

You’re welcome.
DD

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Random Things You Should Know Before Having Kids.

Here are a few random tips you should know before having kids (or having more kids):

  1. Friends without children might become distant for a while.
  2. Your conversations during pregnancy will be about pregnancy.
  3. Your conversations after birth will be about your new baby.
  4. You won’t know what you did with your time or what you talked about before you had a child.
  5. Babies’ heads are magnetically attracted to doorways or in our case coffee tables. #GluedForehead #StapledHead
  6. Never give your child a bedside glass of water unless you’re happy with taking them to the bathroom at 4 a.m.
  7. In the middle of the night you won’t care how cute a onesie is, you’ll care about haw many snaps it has.
  8. You’ll be judged more than your child will when they act up in public. This is particularly true when in restaurants and parks or on airplanes.
  9. Always make your child go to the bathroom before you leave anywhere.
  10. Time will fly by so take lots and lots of photos and videos.
  11. You’ll better understand your parents, in particular your mother.
  12. You’ll do things that your parents did, in particular your mother.
  13. Your child will watch you every day for lessons on how to be a human.
  14. If you don’t freak out when your child falls down there’s a good chance that they won’t either.
  15. Staying fit becomes a whole lot fatter harder. Hence try to keep up some sort of exercise routine.
  16. Staying awake becomes a whole lot harder.
  17. Staying asleep becomes a whole lot harder.
  18. Children have amazing memories but they cannot keep a secret.
  19. Children like to talk about boring stuff, but talking to them about it is a huge part of their development.
  20. Watching your child interact with other people when they don’t know you’re watching is great.
  21. If potty training isn’t working, it’s probably because your child isn’t ready.
  22. There’s no quicker way to make sure your child is listening than by fighting with your partner.
  23. Yelling at a child mid tantrum will usually make them worse.
  24. Children will ask for way more toys than they need. Unfortunately the same doesn’t apply to parents and money.
  25. If your child has a security blanket or a cuddly toy, buy a spare one or have a backup. We learned the hard way when a dog started dry humping our son’s bunny.
  26. Distraction will be one of your best ‘weapons’.
  27. Your tolerance for gross things will grow exponentially – my tooth recently found poo under my fingernail.
  28. Never be too cocky if your child isn’t going through the terrible twos because they might end up being a Threenager or a ‘Fournado’ (I just made that word up!).
  29. Watching your kid interact with other people when they don’t know you’re watching is great.
  30. Accept all hugs, kisses and cuddles from your child. You’ll get fewer as the years go on.
  31. You’ll try to be the best parent you can, but always remember that just keeping your child alive is a win.
  32. You will need to find the balance between getting sleep and personal time.
  33. Plan as many date nights. as you can.
  34. If your child cries when you leave them just keep on walking. They’ll eventually stop.
  35. If you don’t have one already, you’ll soon develop a DGAF attitude…and it’s great.
  36. I’ve lots more but I’m too tired from parenting…zzzzzz

DD

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Study Finds, Women need longer than six weeks to recover from childbirth.

Having a baby is a beautiful experience. Or rather welcoming a baby is a beautiful experience. As a guy I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, even fathom a guess as to what you amazing women go through during pregnancy both physically and mentally. Us guys have it easy. We can just sit back eating Jaffa Cakes waiting for the new little person to arrive. It’s very much a man’s world.

But as everybody knows, giving birth is just the start of it. The demands on one’s body can live long after the birth of a child and although most books and doctors may tell you that you’ll be back to normal within six weeks this just isn’t the case for most women.

Of course, I can only talk about my own wife in this situation but while being pregnant with our second child she developed Symphysis pubis dysfunction, or SPD which stayed with her for almost three years. For every day of those three years, she was in crippling agony.

Sometimes she was unable to walk, sometimes she was unable to get out of the bed, and sometimes she was consuming more medication than she was food. Three full years of chronic pain – multiple doctor visits, multiple nerve block procedures, multiple physiotherapists and oodles of pain medication but unfortunately nothing helped her.

Needless to say, it took its toll on her and if I’m being honest it took its toll on me too. Anyone who has suffered or is suffering from SPD will tell you just how painful and emotionally draining it is. Thankfully after the birth of our third child, the SPD went away and my fantastic wife is now more or less back to her original brilliant self.

Mother and newborn

The reason I write about this is because I recently came across a study by Dr. Julie Wray – a researcher in Salford University in England – who interviewed numerous women at different stages of post-partum life in order to gain a unique insight into postnatal recovery.

During her research, Dr. Wray found that the standard six-week recovery period is a ‘complete fantasy’ and it can take a full year for a woman to recover from childbirth.

Physical recovery is just one aspect. Anybody who has a baby will know that the emotional shift and psychological effects to becoming a parent – even for a father – can be one of, if not, the toughest challenges.

The study found that hospital wards can have a negative impact on women’s ability to recoup and celebrate the birth of their child, and realistic woman-friendly postnatal services are needed to help women with the transition of becoming a mother.

“Women feel that it takes much longer than six weeks to recover and they should be supported beyond the current six to eight weeks after birth,” Wray explains. “The research shows that more realistic and woman-friendly postnatal services are needed.”

I’m young enough to remember my own mother being in hospital for a week after the birth of my sister (we never ate as many portions of beans on toast as we did during that week. Thanks Dad!). The current generation of mums however now feel like they have to go home before they are ready. As well as this, many mums nowadays hold down full-time jobs outside of the home and have to return to work long before they might actually feel ready to do so. Am I right?

Dr. Wray thinks more and longer care of new mums is needed and thinks it is worrying so many new mums feel the pressure to get back on their feet so soon after childbirth

Do you agree with this? How long did it take you to feel back to normal after giving birth? Let us know your comments below.

Thanks

DD


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