Digital Dad: 24 (more) unapologetic Dad Jokes.

I scoured the interweb again and found a few more cringe-worthy dad jokes that made me laugh. Hopefully, they’ll give you a laugh too

1. Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool.

2. I went to a book shop and asked the lady for a book about turtles.

“Hardback?” she asked.

“Yes, and small heads”, I said.

3. What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure.

4. What jam can’t you eat?

Traffic

5. What did the casket say to the other sick casket?
Is that you coffin?

6. “Dad you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?”.

What a strange way to start a conversation I thought.

7. What starts with E, ends with E and only contains one letter?
An Envelope.

8. What did the police say when they raided a seafood restaurant?

Don’t move a mussel.

9. A friend of mine lost his job at the mint factory….
his wife went absolutely menthol.

10. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father-in-law.

11. Never trust someone with graph paper.
They’re always plotting something.

12. The police were called to my son’s creche yesterday because a 3yo was resisting a rest.

13. How do you get rid of an itch? Start from scratch.

14. Dad: Son I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime artist.

Son: Was it something I said?

Dad: Em, yes.

15. Dad, how do I look?
With your eyes son, with your eyes.

16. Apparently 5 out of 4 parents struggle with their children’s maths homework.

17. Did you hear what happened to the chef? He pasta way.

18. My son said to me, what rhymes with orange?

I said, no it doesn’t

19. What do you call a bird that’s afraid of heights?
Chicken.

20. Google is useless sometimes.

I looked up lighters and all I got was 10,000 matches.

21. Somebody complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note saying ‘parking fine’.

22. 6.30 is hands down the best time on a clock.

23. I just made up a word. Plagiarism.

24. Don’t you just hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.

For more laughs check out my Facebook page 

DD

Digital Dad: 25 Unapologetic Dad Jokes

I scoured the interweb and found a few cringe-worthy dad jokes that made me laugh. Hopefully, they’ll give you a giggle too…

1. My best mate David lost his ID. So now I call him Dav.

2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s okay. The teacher woke him up

3. To the person that invented zero. Thanks for nothing.

4. I was playing chess with my friend and he said “let’s make this interesting”.

So we stopped playing…

5. What kind of lights did Noah use on his Ark? Floodlights.

6 What do you call a bear with no ears?

B

7. I always bring an extra pair of socks when I go golfing. Just in case I get a hole in one.

8. Why was the Lego man sick?

He had a blocked nose.

10. The future, the present and the past walked into a room. Things got very tense.

11. Did you hear about the paper joke?

Never mind it’s tearable.

12. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. Then I turned myself around.

13. I hate when people ask me where I see myself in 3 years.

It’s not like I have 2020 vision.

14. Don’t spell part backwards…it’s a trap.

15. A man is washing his car with his son.

The son asks, “Dad why can’t you use a sponge instead?”

16. What do you call a donkey with three legs? Wonkey

17. My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am.

Luckily I was still up playing my drums.

18. Did you hear the joke about unemployed people? Never mind, it doesn’t work.

19. I was walking down the road yesterday when somebody threw a block of cheese out a window.

That’s not very mature I said…

20. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

21. What do you call a singing computer?

A Dell

22. What do you call a tower that can’t stand? The Eiffel Tower

23. Son: “Dad I’m cold”

Dad: “Stand in the corner of the room”

Son: “Uh. why?”

Dad: “Because it’s 90 degrees.”

24. Did you hear about the new movie ‘constipation’? It hasn’t come out yet.

25. When does a dad joke become a dad joke?

When the punchline becomes apparent.

That’s all folks

If you have any dad jokes that you think can make my list, feel free to let me know below.

DD


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