Random conversations I’ve had with my 4yo and 6yo boys.
Me: So boys are you excited about school on Thursday?
4yo: I am
6yo: Not really
Me: Oh. Why?
6yo: Well I’m excited to meet my friends but not about the work.
Me: But you have to work. School is where you learn and the more you learn the better you’ll become at things and hopefully then you can be anything you want to be. You want to be an Astronaut don’t you?
6yo: Well maybe, i haven’t decided yet
Me: And Reilly (4yo) you want to be a fire fighter don’t you?
4yo: No not anymore.
Me: Oh yeah? What do you want to be?
4yo: An evil dentist.
*I almost crashed the car*
4yo: Dad! Dad!
4yo: Come here. I need you.
Me: I’m doing something. What is it?
4yo: Please you have to come here right now.
Me: OK hold on.
* runs upstairs.
Me: Right what is it.
4yo: Look at how big the poo is that I just made
4yo: Dad can i have a ham and cheese sandwich but I don’t want any ham ok?
Me: Ok so just a cheese sandwich?
4yo (nodding): But can I have the cheese separate?
Me: Ok…so you just want a slice of cheese and some bread??
4yo: Yes but with no butter on the bread ok dad?. That new butter is yucky.
Me: Grand. Here you go.
4yo: But can I have a cheese string?
Me:So you just want a plain slice of bread and a cheese string?
Me: Yes what?
Me: But you can get them yourself. You don’t need me to do if for you.
4yo: But I’m tired. I need you to help me dadda
*Dadda my ar*e. He never calls me that unless he wants something the lazy toad*
4yo: “Dad, i’m going to live with you in our house forever and ever and ever”
Me: “Never joke about that again, do you hear?”
4yo: What’s for dinner later?
Me: Spaghetti Bolognese
4yo: Ok. Can you cook it so that it tastes like Chicken Nuggets?
Me: Yeah sure, that’s exactly what I’ll do.
4yo: “When I grow up I want a husband like Mummy”.
6yo: “No Mum isn’t a husband. Mum is a wife. Dad is a husband”.
4yo: “Well i want a wife like Mummy then” .
6yo: “Me too but she would have to like Ninja Turtles”.
4yo: “Yea my wife has to like Paw Patrol too”.
[a communal pause and back they went to playing]
6yo: Dad can you tell me a word that doesn’t contain any vowels.
6yo: For school
6yo: For school i said.
6yo: FOR SCHOOL
6yo : FOR..*walks away angry and asks his mum*.
ENROUTE TO SCHOOL.
6yo: How do you know that man?
Me: Huh? What are you talking about? Who? What man?
6yo: You called that driver Dick.
Me: Oh right. Eh, don’t mind that, he’s just an old school friend.
6yo: Do sheep shrink in the rain?
Me: What do you mean?
6yo: Well. Mummy gave out to you because her wool jumper got smaller in the wash.
Me: Oh right. Yes, well wool shrinks if you wash it incorrectly. Daddy made a mistake.
6yo: So do sheep not shrink in the rain then?
Me: No the wool protects them and keeps them warm. They don’t shrink.
6yo: So do they not turn pink either.
Me: Well that was another mistake. Listen here comes Mummy, lets talk about something else….so how was school today?
6yo: “Dad, when will i be a grown up?”
Me: “When you have a drawer full of grocery bags within grocery bags and a bag/box full of new and used batteries”
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