Here are a few random tips you should know before having kids (or having more kids):

1. Friends without children might become distant for a while.
2. Your conversations during pregnancy will be about pregnancy.
3. Your conversations after birth will be about your new baby.
4. You won’t know what you did with your time or what you talked about before you had a child.
5. Babies’ heads are magnetically attracted to doorways or in our case coffee tables. #GluedForehead #StapledHead
6. Never give your child a bedside glass of water unless you’re happy with taking them to the bathroom at 4 a.m.
7. In the middle of the night you won’t care how cute a onesie is, you’ll care about haw many snaps it has.
8. You’ll be judged more than your child will when they act up in public. This is particularly true when in restaurants and parks or on airplanes.
9. Always make your child go to the bathroom before you leave anywhere.
10. Time will fly by so take lots and lots of photos and videos.
11. You’ll better understand your parents, in particular your mother.
12. You’ll do things that your parents did, in particular your mother.
13. Your child will watch you every day for lessons on how to be a human.
14. If you don’t freak out when your child falls down there’s a good chance that they won’t either.
15. Staying fit becomes a whole lot fatter harder. Hence try to keep up some sort of exercise routine.
16. Staying awake becomes a whole lot harder.
17. Staying asleep becomes a whole lot harder.
18. Children have amazing memories but they cannot keep a secret.
19. Children like to talk about boring stuff, but talking to them about it is a huge part of their development.
20. Watching your child interact with other people when they don’t know you’re watching is great.
21. If potty training isn’t working, it’s probably because your child isn’t ready.
22. There’s no quicker way to make sure your child is listening than by fighting with your partner.
23. Yelling at a child mid tantrum will usually make them worse.
24. Children will ask for way more toys than they need. Unfortunately the same doesn’t apply to parents and money.
25. If your child has a security blanket or a cuddly toy, buy a spare one or have a backup. We learned the hard way when a dog started dry humping our son’s bunny.
26. Distraction will be one of your best ‘weapons’.
27. Your tolerance for gross things will grow exponentially – my tooth recently found poo under my fingernail.
28. Never be too cocky if your child isn’t going through the terrible twos because they might end up being a Threenager or a ‘Fournado’ (I just made that word up!).
29. Watching your kid interact with other people when they don’t know you’re watching is great.
30. Accept all hugs, kisses and cuddles from your child. You’ll get fewer as the years go on.
31. You’ll try to be the best parent you can, but always remember that just keeping your child alive is a win.
32. You will need to find the balance between getting sleep and personal time.
33. Plan as many date nights. as you can.
34. If your child cries when you leave them just keep on walking. They’ll eventually stop.
35. If you don’t have one already, you’ll soon develop a DGAF attitude…and it’s great.
36. I’ve lots more but I’m too tired from parenting…zzzzzz

DD

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